As a Woman, does having Children ruin your career?

Image of Lily Allen by Charles Finch and Chanel 2024 Pre-BAFTA Party – London© PA Wire

As a society, we still have wildly outdated presumptions and expectations about what women want and what they should be. It’s this expectation that contributes to women feeling they must prove they can do everything and be everything, to everyone.

And for working mums in particular, the constant shift between mum mode and worker mode can be really challenging and in reality, is in sharp contrast to the ‘superwoman’ ideologies that many women feel they need to attain.

As this piece about Lily Allen on @MSN demonstrates, the superwoman ideology haunts working mums.

It’s time to redefine what our own version of success looks like and distance ourselves from the impossible fantasy of the ‘superwoman’. We all need to understand there is no one right way to achieve success, no matter how often society tells us there is.

We also understand that everyone’s experience is vastly different. Having spent time this week with solicitors, and further understanding the challenges they face as working parents in law, it is more important than ever to understand your own journey, what can be controlled, and what areas need immediate action and how you can be part of industry change.
Change is possible, but needs a firm hand to coordinate, and direct it. That’s where WOMBA can help.

In any case, we wanted to look at both sides of Lily Allen's comments, as there is absolutely merit in what she says, but not everyone will have the same experience, or agree.

What do you think?

Three Strong Evidence-Based Reasons Supporting Lily Allen's Sentiment

Motherhood Penalty: Research indicates a significant wage gap between mothers and fathers, with mothers earning substantially less per hour than fathers. According to data from the charity Pregnant Then Screwed, UK mothers earned £4.44 less an hour than fathers in 2023. This wage disparity reflects the impact of motherhood on women's careers, including factors such as taking maternity leave, returning to work part-time, or facing obstacles in career progression due to family responsibilities.

Unpaid Care Work: Women are disproportionately burdened with unpaid care and domestic work compared to men. Studies show that women undertake three times more care and domestic work than men, essentially working two full-time jobs. This unpaid labor often affects women's ability to fully engage in paid employment and advance in their careers.

Legislative Framework and Expectations: The current legislative framework, societal expectations, and workplace culture contribute to perpetuating gender disparities in caregiving responsibilities. Despite the introduction of Shared Parental Leave in 2015, the take-up remains low, with estimates suggesting only 3-4% of eligible couples utilise it. This indicates a societal expectation that child-rearing is primarily the responsibility of mothers, leading to women taking prolonged periods out of the workforce and assuming the role of primary caregiver, which hinders their career progression.

Three Evidence-Based Reasons Against Lily Allen's Sentiment:

Individual Choices and Agency: While societal and systemic factors undoubtedly influence women's career trajectories after having children, it's essential to recognize that individuals still have agency in making choices about their careers and family life. Not all women experience the same level of career disruption after becoming mothers, and some successfully balance both aspects of their lives.

Diverse Experiences: Women's experiences with motherhood and career are diverse and multifaceted. While some may feel that motherhood negatively impacts their careers, others may find fulfillment and even professional growth through the experience of raising children. Factors such as available support networks, workplace policies, and personal priorities can shape individuals' experiences differently. Industry can make a huge difference in whether a mothers experience is limited or new and exciting opportunities are made available, despite, or because of, having children.

Changing Norms and Advocacy Efforts: There are ongoing efforts to challenge traditional gender norms and advocate for policies that support work-life balance and gender equality. Organisations and activists such as WOMBA, Pregnant then Screwed, and Elliot Rae (speaker and author) continue to push for improvements in parental leave policies, childcare support, and workplace flexibility, aiming to alleviate the challenges faced by working parents. As societal attitudes evolve and policy reforms occur, there's potential for greater parity between men and women in balancing career aspirations with family responsibilities.